This was another day when I found, what seemed at first glance, a perfect job until I read through the small print in the advert. Safer Merton Manager sounded wonderful - I imagined that I'd get to protect Paul Merton from harm (perhaps by hiding behind the desk on Have I Got News For You, ready to spring out in the event of dangerous heckling from the audience). But my hopes were dashed when I found that the job actually involved working for Merton Council...
However, my spirits were lifted almost immediately when I stumbled across the position of Floating Supernumerary Manager. Now, I'm not entirely sure whether this would mean that I would be a floating supernumerary manager (but I have purchased a set of armbands to be on the safe side) or whether I'd simply be managing floating supernumeraries. However, I am fully prepared for either eventuality.
I ignored the bit in the advert that said "It is Essential that you have an RGN qualification with an NVQ4, ideally with RMA in care" because I'm sure my other qualities will more than compensate for the lack of paperwork. They asked for a "strong manager" but they failed to clarify just how they intend to test for this in an interview environment - I would suggest the easiest method would be to make the door to the interview room extremely heavy; this way only the strongest candidates would be able to enter. In fact, I did suggest this to them in my application letter...
In addition theyasked for applicants to possess a "quietly, strong manner" (I can be the strong, silent type if I try) and to be "extremely well presented" (I scrub up well, especially in armbands). I am struggling to see how they can fail to at least give me an interview...
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