Job No. 29 - Penetration Tester

Today I toyed with the idea of applying to work as a CAD Advisor for the Royal College of Art in London, but the prospect of spending my working days advising all manner of cads on issues such as which Sunday tabloid to sell their story to, how to best extract themselves from a sleazy affair with a prominent MP's wife and how to juggle the attentions of several wealthy heiresses was enough to make me think twice about applying...

And my decision to hold back on my application seemed to have been fully vindicated when I spied a vacancy to work for a US company called Vigilant Services, where I would be employed as a Penetration Tester...

So excited was I by the job title that, without even hesitating to read the job description fully, I rattled off a quick application letter:

Dear John

I wish to apply for the position of Penetration Tester and have enclosed my CV for your consideration.

Although I have not worked in this area on a professional basis, I believe that I have experience that makes a strong argument for my suitability. I would be interested to know more about the methodology you adopt for your testing regime - is it necessary to fully penetrate or is the mere proof of penetration adequate? Also, it would be useful to know what level of caseloads would be involved and the expectations of time required to penetrate?

Regards

Oliver.

However, no sooner had I emailed off my CV and application letter, when I reread the first line of the job advert in a little more detail. I discovered that Vigilant Services were looking for a 'flexible, energetic professional' with 'experience of penetration testing at a senior level'...

The smallest amount of doubt began to creep into my mind - why did I need to be flexible? And what was so important about experience of penetration at a senior level? And then, it occured to me that, nowhere in the advert had it specifed the exact nature of the role - what, I asked myself, if contrary to my assumptions, they were not looking to employ a penetrator but were, instead, intent upon finding themselves a penetratee...

Realising I had misjudged the role, I tried frantically to recall the email but it was too late. However I have decided that, should Vigilant Services get in touch to ask me to come into the office and give a live demonstrate of my flexibility and penetration skills, I will politely decline.