Job No. 31 - Concession Supervisor

As I waded through the recruitment sites this morning, I found yet more disturbing evidence of the way in which companies place so much emphasis on body shape. After the Heavyweight Creative debacle I had tried to put the issue behind me but, it seems there is no escaping it as I found that they do everything bigger in the USA. Heavyweight is clearly not enough for I found a position that places far greater demands on an individual's shape - Sales Representative with Unlimited Growth Potential.

Heaven only knows what macabre plans Horizon Foods have in mind for their new employees but you can rest assured it likely involves fattening up their staff (after all, as the slogan on their website states, there's always something cooking at Horizon). The final straw for me was their assertion that 'sit behind the desk types need not apply'. Incensed by the fact that being able to fit behind a desk was seen as a negative, I sent them a letter expressing my dismay:

Dear Bobby

I was hoping to apply for the position of Sales Representative but was a little taken aback by the mention of 'unlimited growth potential' in the advertisement. I feel, in this day and age, it is not a good thing to express the desire for unlimited growth and that, by marketing your positions in this way, you are potentially excluding some excellent candidates. I hope, with the benefit of hindsight, you will realise there are better methods to differentiate candidates and that you will not stigmatise those who do not aspire to unlimited growth.

Regards

Oliver.

Perhaps I should turn this into some form of campaign? I will have to look into it...

Nevertheless, I found a wonderful job to apply for today with a department store in Nottingham - Concession Supervisor. It seems to me it would prove to be quite a relaxing job, allowing you to go with the flow and live a stress free existence - and I think it is a very encouraging sign that stores are now actively hiring staff to concede to customers.

I assume that it is only necessary to concede on issues of fashion - for example, it would be acceptable to concede that pink was not the new black or that Miss Sixty jeans no longer seemed to have the same cachet as they did in the late 1990s, but entirely unacceptable to concede on areas such as quantum mechanics, political discourse or exobiology. It would, of course, be possible to concede on such areas during one's lunch hour - but that would be a case of conceding in one's spare time...

My application letter set out my philosophy on the matter:

Hi Tracey

I wish to apply for the position of Concession Supervisor (ref. TD 7860) and have attached my CV for your consideration.

I believe I could help you meet all forms of concessionary targets and that I would generate a high degree of yield in my work. I would love to get a little more information on the specifics of the concession involved - you mentioned luxury ladies fashion so I have assumed the concession would be specialise in this area. I am a great believer in excellent customer service and feel this type of role typifies what makes our stores an example to whole world.

Regards

Oliver.

I await their response with eagerness - although, I intend to let them know at the interview that I won't be conceding on my salary demands...