Job No. 36 - Chief of Party

Today I decided to look for something a little more lighthearted, a job where I could have a bit of fun, and I found it while browsing through the Economist website when I happened upon the position of Chief of Party, Haiti.

Working for a non-governmental organisation called ARD Incorporated, you'd get to let your down and enjoy yourself in Port-au-Prince - although, make no bones about it, these are professional party animals as, in the advert, they talked about a three to five year plan, which seems perhaps a little excessive for a party...

On the food front, it seems that Haitian national cuisine contains such dishes as Diri ak Pwa (rice and beans), Griyo (fried pork) and Sos Poul (chicken in sauce) - which is all very well but it's not really party fare is it? I'm thinking that to really get things going I'll need to bulk import a number of essential ingredients including sixteen tonnes of strawberry jelly, eighteen tonnes of icecream, fifteen tonnes of fairy cakes plus at least fifty tonnes each of sausage rolls, cheese and pineapple on sticks and salt and vinegar chipsticks...

And, since the job will see me in charge of multi-million pound funding initiative, even after purchasing the party food I should still have plenty of money remaining for the purchase of paper hats, party poppers and those stupid party blower things. In fact I may even have enough left over to pay for an amateur magician or someone to make balloon animals.

In my application letter I was keen to convince of my party hosting suitability:

Dear Sir

I wish to apply for the position of Chief of Party, Haiti, as advertised on the Economist website and have enclosed my CV for your consideration.

I have extensive organisational, planning and fund-management experience and believe I would be able to manage the party for as long as required. Not only that but I have a number of ideas on how to best utilise resources and on a range of activities that could serve to interest those involved.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Oliver.

I figured that it would be a good thing at this pre-interview stage to mention the range of activities that I'd make available - after all, what kind of party would it be without party games to play? My suggestions for starters would be musical chairs, sardines and pass-the-parcel before moving on to more complicated endeavours such as musical statues as we reach the second year of partying...