Poetry update...

As regular readers will be aware, way back in October, I entered a poetry competition - which resulted in me being sent a rather splendid letter from poetry.com telling me that my poem had so impressed the judges that I had made it through to the semi-finals of the competition and that I could have my poem published in an anthology of poetry (for only a small sum). Well, obviously I was excited but - being a little short in the cash department - I was unable to take them up on their kind offer (or, indeed, take advantage of their kind offer of a multi-volume order discount)...

Then, on the 2nd of November, poetry.com realised they needed to up the ante as I received the following email:

Over the past several months, we have been reviewing the thousands of poems submitted to us, as well as examining the poetic accomplishments of people whose poetry has appeared on the Internet and in various editions released by other poetry publishers in America and Europe. After an exhaustive examination of this poetic artistry, The International Library of Poetry is pleased to inform you that you have been nominated for inclusion in THE INTERNATIONAL WHO'S WHO IN POETRY.

Congratulations on your accomplishment, Oliver. This is an extraordinary honor. The International Who's Who in Poetry will be among the finest quality and most interesting books we have ever produced, and poets from several nations around the world will be featured. Each poem published will be exhibited on a page by itself. Every aspect and design of this anthology will display an uncompromising level of craftsmanship and attention to detail. This coffee-table quality book will be printed in two colors on fine milled paper, and it will feature a highly detailed, ornate cover and quality typography throughout. It will make a handsome addition to any library, a treasured family keepsake, or a highly valued personal gift.
Obviously I was elated with this news - a ringing endorsement of my poetic credentials - but, again, they needed a small amount of money from me - $49.95 for the book, $19 for postage and handling and a (nominal) fee of $25 to prepare and print my artist's profile. It was such a wonderful offer but I just couldn't quite bring myself to shell out all that money (even for such a finely crafted anthology) and so I resigned to not hearing from poetry.com again...

And was therefore surprised when, on 27th December, I received a further email from poetry.com that was so exciting that I almost collapsed in shock. Thankfully I was sitting down when I opened the email:

Dear Oliver,

The Editors of The International Library of Poetry were thrilled to inform you that your poem was bestowed the prestigious Editor's Choice Award because of your artistic accomplishments and unique perspective--characteristics found in the most noteworthy poetic works. To further commemorate this prestigious achievement we have elected you to receive the 2006 Editor's Choice Published Poet Ribbon Award Pin.

This stunning pin proudly displays your elevated status in our poetic community. Since only an elite group of published poets were selected to receive this special honor, imagine the sense of pride you will feel when others see you wearing the 2006 Editor's Choice Published Poet Ribbon Award Pin. What an impressive way to show off your status as an honored poet for the year 2006!

As you can see from the picture above, the pin in question is clearly an exquisite work of art and - were it not for the $19.95 plus $5 shipping - would be extremely tempting to any would be poet. Since receiving the email, many have been the times that I've reflected on the sense of pride I would have felt when others saw me wearing it. Oh well, I guess it just wasn't to be...

And then, just when I had resigned myself to the fact that poetry.com was only interested in me for my money, I received a (frankly stunning) email from them on the 13th January which surely demonstrates that they are interested in me - first and foremost - as a poet and artist:

It's something we don't often do, but after reading and discussing your poetry, the Editorial Advisory Board of the International Library of Poetry has nominated you for membership in the most exciting poetry organization in the world--the International Society of Poets!

The Editorial Advisory Board wholeheartedly agrees that your poetic writings warrant nomination into the International Society of Poets--a poetry organization that is world-renowned and dedicated to recognizing poetic talent such as yours. As Chairman, I want to personally inform you about all the new benefits of Membership, and I did not want you to miss out on this opportunity. Oliver , I know that after hearing what we are about, you will join us as a member of our society--the International Society of Poets!

The excitement was palpable (which is surely the best kind of excitement). I am so glad that the quality of my poetry is due to be recognised within my own lifetime. Now, I just need to find $149 for my annual membership fee and I can join my poetic brethren...

Hmmm...

Well, it's been an interesting couple of days for the blog...

The previous highest number of visitors in one day was way back when on September 19th when the blog was featured on the Guardian's newsblog and 1,200 of them turned up...

However, these last couple of days have seen over 3,000 visitors a day, which may not be much for a mega blog but - for me - is quite impressive. However, I must confess, it has made me feel slightly guilty about not doing applications on a more frequent basis.

Although, not so guilty that I'm going to go back to doing an application every day because I'm just too busy. Really. It's not just an excuse for laziness (trust me, I know them all)...

Update type thingy...

Bit of news to share with you all...

Firstly, the blog was chosen to Website of the Day on yesterday's Steve Wright show (which was nice) and this inspired me to get off my bottom and finally post job no. 75...

Secondly, an American company got in touch to ask if they could include two of my blog entries (Jobs 51 and 52) in an anthology of the best creative non-fiction to be published later this year. So look for me in hardback sometime over the summer!

Well, with all that news shared I feel a strong desire for a big mug of tea (and perhaps a biscuit or two). I'll try and make sure I post at least one job a month from now on...honest!

Job No. 75 - Friends Organiser

Well, with the pressures of academia currently restricting my job hunting, I have decided to try and restrain my applications to an altogether more reasonable monthly basis for the time being…

However, when a friend of mine on MySpace pointed me in the direction of Cardiff Council and their urgent requirement for a ‘Friends Organiser’, I felt compelled to offer them my assistance in their time of need…

The job description wasn’t entirely clear on how many friends I would need to organise or, indeed, exactly what organisational methodologies they were hoping to see put to use in the role. Organising one’s friends on the basis of age and gender is quite a simple task (certainly no more than a part-time role) so I think that, in order to justify one’s position, it is important to find new ways to sort out your acquaintances. I feel it is vital that any system to organise friends allows one to rapidly distinguish, for example, between those friends who are afraid of mustard and those who enjoy collecting lint. In my application form I wanted to demonstrate some of these innovative ideas:

I believe I could bring a strong organisational background to the position and, with recent experience of statistical analysis, I am capable of utilising a range of organisational methods.

Since gender and demographic based filtering is very much old hat, I would recommend (subject to available data) alternate filtering schemes such as physical dimensions, entertainment preferences, dietary requirements and political persuasion. This would enable rapid structuring into manageable sub-groupings.

I am certain that Cardiff Council will be tremendously impressed by my ideas and, if selected for interview, I intend to use this time as an opportunity to explain just how my organisational system would allow you to efficiently sort out your lanky, abseiling, steak loving Socialist friends from your dumpy, painter, brussels sprout eating Liberal Democrat friends…

Happy New Year (slightly belated)!!!

Just a quick update to let you know how things are going...

Very busy with my MA at the moment - just completed my first major assignment (went a bit overboard and did 18,000 words - sure the tutor will love me for that) and I'm busy working on all the various bits and bobs for the next couple of assignments. Enjoying it immensely but do feel a tad guilty that I've not managed to add to my job count for a while...

However, I can promise that there will be an update later on tomorrow. Try and contain your excitement. No, please do...