I should have known that my alcohol levels were going to be reaching all time highs purely from the opening ceremony during which there were multiple breaches of rules 1, 5 and 11.This set the tone for the evening, during which I tried my level best to keep track of rule infringements but ended up losing count (and indeed pen and paper) by about song 12. My observations were that rule 10 seemed to come up quite often and that there were not enough cases of rule 13. I also decided - and I am guessing this based upon the scrawled notes found the following evening since I don't remember actually writing it - that next year's rules revision should also involve a rule based upon the use of pyrotechnics.
I am quite thankful to say that the intake of alcohol was more than sufficient to numb the quality of the entrants to the point that - by the time the UK entry appeared - I was quite convinced it was the best song ever entered into any competition anywhere.
It was possible to make it to the judging and remain conscious - however, the judging banged the final (vodka soaked) nails into the coffin with the Balkan voting alone emptying most of a bottle. By the end of that - not to mention the flagrant abuse of rule 3 by the Russian co-hosts - things were looking very bad. There was also a moment during which a person in a bear costume appeared - although I may have imagined this (confirmation greatly appreciated).
Needless to say, Sunday was a large (painful) blur punctuated by a wish for people to be a LOT quieter. However, I am glad to have ensured a large number of other people shared my pain and will be sure to created an updated Norwegian version next year (apparently, Norway also produces vodka!)
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